As I cross the half-century threshold, I’m conflicted in a number of ways.
On the one hand, I feel like I’ve accomplished many things. On the other, I have SO much yet to accomplish. According to the calendar, I’m on the downhill side. Yet, I feel like I’m just getting started.
Looking back, I’ve made my share of mistakes. And, I’ve had some good adventures.
I have a wonderful and beautiful wife and two amazing children. And, in light of the reminders of my failures, my family is proof otherwise. I must have done something right.
I Can’t Drive… Fifty-Live
Honestly, I don’t feel so great about turning 50. I don’t like it at all. It’s the first milestone that has “bothered” me. It seems like this birthday is mocking me and reminding me of what I haven’t accomplished. In terms of the material goals I had set for myself as a youngster, I’m arguably a failure. But, I am grateful for what I have, what I’ve seen, where I’ve been, what I’ve learned, and for so many friends along the way.
There is something else I learned… or figured out… just this week. My office team had actually saved their own money, contributing to a special fund for the past several months… to celebrate my birthday. They wanted to take me out for a special meal. They told me they were doing this in advance. How cool is my team? I really didn’t want to celebrate my 50th birthday. I wanted to it come and go while I did my best to deny it. I even told them they should just keep their money, as I’d rather not celebrate. But, I could see that they would be VERY disappointed if they couldn’t go through with their plans. They were really excited about it. We had a fantastic lunch, and I could tell they really enjoyed it. They were so proud to do it.
It turns out the celebrations aren’t really about me. They are for my friends and family. THEY want to celebrate my birthday. It’s not about me. And, I like that. I prefer that. Please know this post isn’t fishing for birthday wishes. It really isn’t. I find writing to be therapeutic. This is more of an epiphany and realization that birthdays, especially the milestone birthdays, aren’t about the “birthday boy.” They’re really about the people around him.
Today, I started by taking my son to the hockey rink. After that, I had a nice lunch with family. Now, it’s just a quiet day at home with the family. Perfect!
I’ve been a “late bloomer” throughout my life. At 50, I AM just getting started!